The Worst Music of 2010

Here is the first ever Worst Of I've ever done. And it's only because i feel obligated to tell you, if you haven't yet written these bands off, do so immediately. This is a list of the worst shit i was unlucky enough to hear. I'm not going to get into it reviews here because it's not worth yours or mine time. If you want a review go look it up yourself. Also, I have excluded mainstream artists because I generally don't listen to them and couldn't tell you about them because i don't give a shit. Allright, get ready. It's going to get ugly...

10. - Sufjan Stevens - The Age of Adz

I feel like Sufjan is the indie version of John Mayer. Did you really like Illinois? Or where you just into it because everyone was? Look, I'm not denying his/their talent, but i cannot for the life of me think of why anyone likes his music. I read a review where someone was like, "Oh my god, Sufjan says FUCK in his new album!" That's like the movie The Happening where it was advertised as M. Night's first R rated movie. There is so much going on this mess of an album I doubt if Sufjan can bear listening to it. Also, he uses autotune on his new album. Vomit. Everyone's favorite closeted-homosexual, eagle-wing wearing, jesus-loving motherfucker Sufjan Stevens should have quit when he said he should, http://vishkhanna.com/2009/10/12/sufjan-stevens-interview-an-excerpt/

9. Joanna Newsom - Have One on Me

Never a big fan of hers. Some friends were into her and I gave it a go. Like, I get it - she plays the harp and sings goofy. I just can't get into it . Ys was even worse cause the songs were like twenty fucking minutes a piece. I will give anything a second chance, hell, a third chance if you swore by it. And this is a classic case of critics praising her new album and I thought, what the fuck? It's a triple album, she's doing more than just playing her harp... It's gotta be pretty good right? I never even got past like track three. And i tried listening to it again, with no such luck. One of the worst music purchases I've made. This one's gonna be collecting dust, and lesson learned, if her next album is hailed as the next OK Computer, I'll just never know.

8. Interpol - Interpol

Try to find one positive thing anyone has said about this album. I fucking dare you. Even the diehards think it's shit. This is some of the most uninspired, boring music I've ever heard. In fact if you put it on and just forget that you're listening to it, it actually sounds like 30-40 minutes of one minor chord being played over and over. Further proof that Interpol is one of the most overrated bands on the planet. Sorry Hunter.

7. Surfer Blood - Astro Coast

Why are these KIDS so fucking popular? Listen, I'm from Orlando, and it's not like there is this booming music scene here. So when a band receives some praise and they're from close to your area of living, you kind of get excited; like it's cool for something good to come out of your hometown. However, I am not proud that these asshole kids are the next thing to come out of Florida. They probably have rich parents and they probably listen to a lot of shit bands and decided they wanted to start one. If you haven't seen them live yet, please do. You will literally be underwhelmed and unimpressed. You might even think to yourself, "Well this sounds nothing like their album... that's weird." It's because they are packaged to be something they are not. They're just so gimmicky. Hey we're called Surfer Blood and there's a big fucking shark on our album! Really? I can't wait for these water/ocean/beach bands die out. (Spoiler alert, similar bands still to come!)

6. Delorean - Subiza

I have to stress this to you, just because Pitchfork gives something the coveted "Best New Music" status, (which is the dumbest fucking thing ever) it does not mean that you should drop everything and go get the album and love it and be cool. Believe me, those assholes are wrong more than they're right. I picked up Ayrton Senna last year and didn't hate it. I don't really listen to this type of music (dancy, electronic?) but it was something different. Then they signed to True Panther Sounds (which i love) and released Subiza this year, so naturally, I checked it out. I don't get it. It doesn't sound like their ep and i don't understand, is it a good party album? A good dance album for clubs and shit? Who listens to this shit? Dumbass hipster fucks, that's who.

5. Local Natives - Gorilla Manor

Do you really need to sound like every indie band that ever was? Oh wait, they're tribally... ooohhhhh.

4. Yeasayer - Odd Blood

This is so painstakingly bad I don't know what else to say about it. It's like a weird hybrid of pop, eastern influences, and electronic music. And it's unlistenable. Like a band who tried to one-up Vampire Weekend for most shittiest overhyped band that ever was, and almost succeeded.

3. Vampire Weekend - Contra

I have a three year old cousin who likes watching nick jr. and playhouse disney and all of those children's shows. One of them is four guys who play music and wear matching outfits or whatever. Not only do they sound like Vampire Weekend, they might be better songwriters. Yes it is true, Vampire Weekend sounds like children's music. There is no reason in the world why this band has so much critical acclaim. Go back and listen to it again (i mean don't, cause it's awful) and honestly think to yourself, is this good music? Why do I like it? You might find you were just young and stupid.

2. Wavves - King of the Beach

1. Best Coast - Crazy for You

What's that Jason?! You didn't say anything about Wavves? Well, reader, that's because it is tied with Best Coast as THE WORST ALBUMS OF THE YEAR. This growing trend of bands sounding like surf or beach or whatever is the dumbest trend in music right now. They're not trying to capture the sound of the Beach Boys or anything, they're just making this shit music that is so bad it has to come with a gimmick, a surf gimmick. Both albums are similar sounding - simple pop songs with a shitload of added fuzz, cause it's cool. But Best Coast is even worse, because she is such a bad songwriter. It's literally the most simple AB progressions soaked in noise. And the reason there is so much noise on the album is because she probably didn't want anyone to hear what she was saying. No one gives a shit about your cat and no one cares you like to smoke weed and do stupid girl shit. I don't even need say anything about the wavves guy because he is already generally hated by his peers. Last year there was chillwave (god, it hurts to say these awful made up genres) and this year it was surf/beach rock. Future artists be warned: don't get lumped into the next shitty music trend.

What's Today, October Something?

god its been so long since i updated this thing. a whole year. as i look back on 2009, and all of the music i was really into, even the top ten, i found that i barely listened to any of that shit this year. in fact, some of it, i was like why did i even put them on here? Those of you who know me know that i tend to be into a band one week and then completely moved on to another the next week. guilty. however, i have noticed that the bands on my list last year, if they were so good, then why haven't i listened to them at all this year? which brings me to my point, they were good, but that's all. i think bands today have forgotten how to write an album. or maybe it is just the times. anyways, 2010 was a great year in music. let's see, i finally got into tom waits (his older shit.) The arcade fire released an album that not only did i listen to all the way through, but i actually enjoyed. also, same thing with wolf parade. i also got really into old school hip-hop, as well as 60's pop bands, (my top 25 of all time will need some rearranging soon.) Finally, I have realized music critics are assholes and they give bad reviews to good albums and praise to the absolute worst shit on the planet. so, this year i am going all out, starting off with the first ever, Top 10 Worst Albums of the Year.

Top 25 Albums Of All Time.

So I've been working on this for a while. Here is my criteria for this list: One band, one album. I absolutely fucking hate it when I see, for instance, top whatever lists that have all five Radiohead albums on them. I mean come on, we get it, you like radiohead. Everybody fucking loves Radiohead. (You will notice, no Radiohead in my top 25. Maybe The Bends would be #26...) Also, I didn't put any band on here for cool points. I actually listen to and love these artists. Anyways, the top 25 are albums that I seriously think I will be listening to ten years from now, and probably till I'm old. All of the bands I listed are absolutely amazing and it was very hard to pick my personal favorite album of theirs. And I know I forgot some band out there that I love and will probably have to revise this very list..., but I digress. Here it is. I hope you have enough fun reading this as I did making it. FYI, lots of 90's here.

25. Lambchop - How I Quit Smoking
24. Ben Folds Five- Whatever And Ever, Amen
23. Built to Spill - Keep It Like A Secret
22. Echo and the Bunnymen - Ocean Rain
21. Pedro the Lion - It's Hard To Find A Friend
20. GodSpeed! You Black Emporer - Lift Your Skinny Fists Like Antennae To The Heavens
19. Modest Mouse - The Moon And Anarctica
18. Karate - The Bed Is In The Ocean
17. Cap'n Jazz - Analphabetapolothology
16. Velvet Underground - The Velvet Underground
15. cLOUDDEAD - S/T
14. Chavez - Ride The Fader
13. Yo La Tengo - I Can Hear The Heart Beating As One
12. Wilco - Yankee Hotel Foxtrot
11. Boards Of Canada - Music Has The Right To Children
10. Bedhead - What Fun Life Was
9. Guided By Voices - Bee Thousand
8. Neutral Milk Hotel - In The Aeroplane Over The Sea
7. Pavement - Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain
6. Tortoise - TNT
5. Mineral - Endserenading
4. My Bloody Valentine - Loveless
3. The Smiths - Louder Than Bombs
2. The Beach Boys - Pet Sounds
1. Sunny Day Real Estate - Diary

1. Girls - Album

So here it is. Finally, my absolute favorite album of the year. And it's funny, I think I knew this was going to be my number one, like thirty seconds into "Lust For Life", the album opener. All of the music on this stupid blog is good music that i genuinely enjoy listening to. However, Girls;Album became something special. It has somehow seeped its way into my personal favorite albums that i have ever heard. I'm talking about the albums that kill your soul when you hear them, that remind you of great times and bad times, that are there for you when it seems no one else is. Even now as i am listening to it while typing, I am amazed at how good this album is. Girls are a San Fransisco band that came out of the Children of God cult and got into drugs (the abridged story) and started to write music. They released their debut album Album in September and the rest is history I think. The reason Album works is because it sounds like a collection of singles. I don't know if it was meant to be presented like that, but every song could be a single. It's that fucking good. There are classic pop gems like "Lust For Life", "Laura" and "Darling" and then there are downers like "Ghost Mouth" and "Lauren Marie" and there is the fucking anthem of "Hellhole Ratrace." And that's just the first half of the album. Chris Owens has this kind of Randy Newman croon that fits every song and he sings with such heartache. On top of that, he has a way of making simple lyrics mean so much more. "GhostMouth" is my favorite song for this reason, because every line is a killer. And on "Darling" he sings "Man, i felt like i could lay down and die/then I found my life in the song that I'm singing..." and it never comes off as cheesy or whiny, but rather uplifting. To close, there hasn't been an album that I've related to as much as Album in a long time. I absolutely love Girls;Album from start to finish. There are no track skippers. It's an album I listen to start to finish and then hit play again. I have since tracked down most of their other singles like "Substance" and "Solitude" and have grown to love them as well. Of all the lo-fi, chillwave, pop, rock, punk and whatever else bullshit music came out in 2009 popular or indie or whatever, Girls were the best.

Here is the like for the "Lust For Life" video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SuoTjYYqe4c

2. Grizzly Bear - Veckatimest

Grizzly Bear's Veckatimest is fantastic. I mean it probably would have taken my number one spot had it not been for this goddamn band that i cannot get over, cannot shut up about... but I'm getting ahead of myself. I can imagine that creating an album after Yellow House would be no easy task, but i can assure you that not only did GB rise to the challenge, they got even better. I was lucky enough to see Grizzly Bear a few years back at The Social. I remember I hadn't even heard of Grizzly Bear; I was there for The Books (sidenote: one of the best shows I've ever been to.) Anyways, it was when they were touring for Horn of Plenty and I think recording Yellow House. They were nice guys, had a great show, but i remember thinking that they were still looking for a sound. There were lots of great ideas, they just weren't grounded. If Yellow House was a step in the right direction, Veckatimest is a fucking leap. Songs are warmer; you can actually sing along if you want. (Try not doing the OHH-OO-OHH-OO-WHOA-OOS! on "Two Weeks." Impossible.) Now you can not like this about them. You can not like that they are more accessible, or that they have number one songs on Billboard. But I don't think Grizzly Bear is destined to be some indie jewel. I think they're gonna be huge. And I hope they do. If you're making music like this, everyone should hear it. The album kind of drags at the end but those first eight or nine tracks deliver. I have to say they made my favorite song of the year with "Cheerleader." It alone is worth the purchase of the album. The lala player doesn't have their album up which is weird, so sorry you will have to listen elsewhere.

3. Slaraffenland - We're On Your Side

Slaraffenland is one of those rare bands that sound like a lot of bands you've heard, but present it so differently it comes off as sounding like something new and better. All the right elements are here - haunting, chant-like vocals, cryptic lyrics, and a "big" sound that is restrained. Then to top it off they add beautiful horns and flutes and clarinets to just about every song. The end result sounds like Radiohead's Amnesiac married with Talk Talk's Laughing Stock with help from Jim O'Rourke. Or something like that. And We're On Your Side is more accessible than Private Cinema. I mean, it's still downer music, but christ, if Private Cinema is being in a haunted house, We're On Your Side is the feeling you get looking back after you've gotten out. I can't really explain this record anymore. All I can tell you is that it's incredible. Songs wash in and out, never really going anywhere yet still interesting enough to keep you coming back, and there are scratches and walls of noise and stops and starts and breaks of silence.... Track three "Too Late To Think" starts off nice and simple with an acoustic progression but by the end, it has blurred and swelled into this amazing horn outro. "Hunting" is one of my favorites and when he sings, "I assure you that i won't track you down..." it just adds another level of eeriness to the album. Start to finish, We're On Your Side is a fantastic album that should not be overlooked this year.

4. Sister Suvi - Now I Am A Champion

Get this now. Sister Suvi are a superband if you will including members of Islands and Tuneyards. And they fucking rock. It's been a while since an album came out that truly blew me away. This is nine songs of pure genius, spanning influences of just about every favorite indie act i love. And these are smart songs, pretentious even. They require repeated listens to fully appreciate this incredible band. "Deadwood" is this dark, brooding jam that sets your nerves on edge. And it goes right into "Desolation," which is one of my favorite songs. "Clap! Clap! One, Two/Clap! Clap! Three, Four/Tell me who the ef you love more!" is one of the more memorable lyrics I've heard in a while. From there on each song gets a little more interesting, a little more intricate. "The Lot" and "Claymation" really rock and showcase some great rounds and vocal harmonies. And then "American" comes in. This is such a fucking great song. It's anti-war, it pokes fun at ourselves, but all with a snobby, fuck you attitude, because in the end, we are Americans and it's better than being something else. "Agua" is a darker song that reminds me of Sonic Youth. And the last three tracks play like a trilogy up until that incredible closer "Golden." Now I Am A Champion is one of the best albums I have heard all year, and from what I can tell, it has gone largely unnoticed. So now you know. Spread the word.